Thanksgiving, what a topic! So many things can be put into a thanksgiving post. So many, in fact, that this could be a jumbled mess if I am not careful. I want to cover three different parts of today from my perspective so bear with me and I promise to try and not jumble this all up.
First off I want to talk about how my family will be celebrating today and there’s a bit of story to it. For about six, maybe seven, years now we have done every single holiday with my in-laws. This is due to animosity on the part of one of my younger sisters. I will not go into why this animosity exists or the reasons it causes me not to be with my family on holidays because it doesn’t matter one bit but that it exists needs to be mentioned for context. Once this issue cropped up my family basically stopped being together on holidays and since I was already with Michelle we, by default, went to her family’s holiday celebrations. For a long while I was bitter about this dynamic as my family is a very close knit group and it was a blow to not see them on the days I was used to all of us getting together under one roof. Don’t get me wrong though, some of the togetherness had already gone when my uncle passed and we stopped seeing what’s left of my dad’s family, so this was yet another blow. So in short I went into the holiday season, starting ’round about Thanksgiving week, spiraling into a depression of sorts.
Michelle’s family is nice, for the most part, but their dynamic is so very different from the family I am used to that it was like going to a company Thanksgiving dinner rather than a family gathering. It was more straw on the camel’s back, so to speak, and I came to dread to the holiday season. Although last year I made it up until Christmas Eve before losing my mind it hasn’t been easy to enjoy myself during this season. I honestly tried but all the baggage seemed to be too much and I failed every year.
This year our mini-van’s transmission is out and we are pretty much broke so from the outside it would seem that I would be more upset going into the season and be worse for wear but that’s not the case. In the past Michelle’s family has provided transportation when we didn’t have a vehicle large enough for the clan but this year they aren’t doing Thanksgiving at the usual haunt and the logistics were too much so we were left doing the holiday here. At some point my brother considered having dinner at his house but decided to carry on his tradition of eating dinner with his best friend’s family. So we were left with pretty much no option but to have Thanksgiving with just our clan. The more I thought about this the more I realized that circumstances came together in a perfect storm to provide us this chance to start a new tradition and have this meal here at our house in a different manner than either family has done and it made me happy.
I can change the dynamic that has caused me to hate the holidays and it starts today. I have all the fixin’s, minus cranberry sauce, for a traditional meal and cooking begins soon. It may seem late to start cooking but we are planning for a later meal than most and doing early evening instead of mid-afternoon. I am also letting the kids cook. I am teaching Hamish to make key lime pie, Seamus to make sweet potato pie, Aryanna to make my special green been casserole, and Aoghdan how to do a brown sugar ham. By teaching I mean they will do each part and I will tell them, showing when necessary, how to do it. So today’s meal will be a family affair for the start of cooking to the serving of the fare. I plan to continue this tradition and if either side of the family wants to see us they can come here and participate in the festivities at my house. My dad did call last night and he is coming by but I don’t know if my mom will join us. In fact anyone is welcome at my home today and that includes: family, friends, and strangers. If you need a Thanksgiving meal then my door is open and me and mine will welcome you with open arms and be grateful that you are here.
In summary the first thing I am thankful for is to be spending Thanksgiving with my wife and children in our home. I am also grateful to have a home that I can open to anyone and everyone.
The second topic I want to cover is the freedom we have in United States that is provided and protected by our armed forces. I have never served but I am truly grateful for the men and women who have given their lives to provide a place where we can gather, bow our heads, and thank God for what we have. There are still places on this ball of dirt where one cannot be grateful to God out loud for fear of his life. Boys and girls have given their last breath, their limbs, their sight, their sanity, and much more to give us the gift of freedom and we so often overlook their sacrifices. Our boys and girls are over in the sandbox, and other places right now, away from their loved ones on Thanksgiving and my prayer is that we remember them today as we sit with our families and gorge ourselves on the fruits of the freedom that they and their brethren have provided for us.
A year or two ago I was out with Michelle at our favorite Mexican joint and there was a soldier eating dinner with his family a couple of tables over. It was obvious he was deploying and this was his dinner to say goodbye to his family. They were happy but there was a bittersweet could over them. I was moved to do more than shake his hand and say “thank you”. I called over my waiter and told him I would be covering their meal and that I didn’t want him to say who had picked up the check. He obliged. The soldier looked around when it came time to pay the bill, argued just a bit, and then walked his family out. I got up to pay our tab and the one I had picked up and watched as he held onto his wife and child, each in turn, and made sure they got in the car and away without any problems. He came back in and looked around then walked straight over to me and asked if I was the one that picked up the check. I almost lied about it because I didn’t want to feel like I was taking credit for anything but I decided that telling the truth was better so I admitted that I had. He had tears in his eyes when he grabbed my hand and thanked me. I told him that thanks weren’t necessary and I was grateful for his service and sacrifice. Neither of us had dry eyes when the exchange was over.
I tell that story to illustrate how much our boys and girls over there need to know that we are grateful for their service. I don’t want to get political in this post but there are those in this country who vilify our armed forces and I know from friends that this cuts deep. So today as you sit around the table with your family and friends make sure you give thanks for our military. If there are vets at you table make sure you recognize them and if there are active duty soldiers in your family who made it home then make damn sure you let them know what their service means. Those in uniform are willing to lay down their life so that you can have this holiday, so you can have all the holidays, and we are remiss as a nation in giving them thanks.
I had this link forwarded to me and it’s a neat way to thank our troops. You see Xerox has collected art from children all over the country, turned it into cards, put up this website, and you can go by, pick a card, pick a message or write your own, and Xerox will send the card to a soldier. It doesn’t cost you dime and it take all of three minutes on a slow connection. If you have seen the site and haven’t sent a card then your soul is as black as pitch and I have no use for you. Go say thanks to a soldier. It is the very least you can do.
The third thing I want to talk about is what all I am grateful for. And I have a damn lot of them. This is by no means a complete list but it’ll have to do.
God: The most important thing I could mention is this right here. I am grateful for God and His son’s sacrifice. None of the rest of the things I thankful for would be worth anything if it were not for two pieces of wood and a willing sacrifice 2,000 years ago.
Freedom: All the freedoms we have in the U.S. provide the atmosphere to allow everything else for which I am thankful.
Family: I have a beautiful and caring wife, seven wonderful children and a large extended family. While we all have issues at times the honest truth is that I couldn’t make it without my family. They catch me when I slip, know when to let me fall, and love me in spite of my faults.
Friends: I have amazing friends including those I have never met. There are way too damn many to mention here but I want to give credit to a few. Greg and Nicole who I haven’t seen in nigh on a decade made my trip to Portland a little nicer. Ellie in Portland who took a Texas boy who was far from home out for a beer. Bryan who asked me to write for 9b even though I suck at writing. Kyle who comes and babysits without ever asking for anything in return. Lee and Sarah who are closer to being family than they are to being friends. Dermot and Laura who we don’t see nearly often enough. Gretchen who I am still mad at for settling down in Alaska. Mark and Amber who make sure we get to church every Sunday. There are many, many more who I haven’t mentioned but my time for writing this post is almost up. I love all of my friends and if I didn’t mention you here then I owe you a big hug.
Job: I have the best job I have ever had and great co-workers who actually understand me and accept me with all of my quirks. I am doing what I love and getting paid mad money to do it. I couldn’t have described a job more perfect for me and I had this one handed to me completely by accident. The owner of my company is great and takes care of us to a fault. I have nothing more I want out of my career at this point except to keep doing what I am doing.
Church: We have found a church that’s just amazing. In fact I should have listed the church under family because they actually get it. It’s like going home every Sunday. All of the things I have thought a church should be this church is striving to be. And they are more than just what I thought a church should be. They have taught me more about what church should be and I am grateful for each and every one of our new family members.
There’s a lot of other dross for which I am grateful like the fact I have an Android phone, work with Linux, and so on but that’s all superficial crap so it doesn’t get more than this passing mention.
It’s time to cook now. It’s later than I wanted to start but I’ll get it done. Writing this was almost as important as cooking the dinner we will gorge ourselves on in just a few hours. Now stop reading my blog and go spend time with your family.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
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