24
Jan
So while the network is down here at the office (I am tethered to my ‘droid phone) I thought I might mention where I have been and what I have been up to lately. In short: nowhere and nothing. I have been soul searching these last couple of weeks sort of quiet contemplation if you will. My life is mess but I don’t want to whine about. It’s been a mess for a long time and I have whined about it for long enough without really fixing anything. What I have been contemplating is how to fix all the crap I want to fix about my messed up life. In doing this I have pretty much disappeared from the web. I haven’t been tweeting much, posting on 9b or posting here. I have come up with some plans and will most likely use this space to flesh them out. I want to chronicle this so that succeed or fail I have a record of the process. I think here will be better than my notebook as I can type a lot more than I can write (my hand cramps up pretty quick these days). I may need a little more time to put everything in a logical progression but I am alive and well and will begin posting again soon. I think I may post a skeleton tonight or tomorrow and see where it goes from there. Re-defining your life is a long process and that’s what I need to do right now. Obviously I don’t mean changing the base but changing myself to better reflect that base. A lot of thought has gone in to this so I think it will take more than a post or two to sort it all out…
So you all know I am divorced and a custodial parent. What you don’t know is what goes on behind the scenes. The ex hasn’t paid child support in nine years and only made a few payments the first year. As of this month it’s been ten years! So she owes about twenty-eight thousand dollars in back child support and that increases every month. I have, amongst all of the divorce papers, a capias warrant for $2,300 of that back child support which is what she owed when the warrant was written. She asked me to get the warrant removed so she can get a job and start paying the child support. Being the nice guy that I am I called around to find out what the process would be. The first call to the court’s child support department revealed the court didn’t have that warrant on file but did have one for $1,000 for attorney fees related to the divorce. So I called and told the ex about that one. I was confused about the warrant I have in hand so I called our local constable’s office to see if they had the warrant in the system and they don’t. In fact they have no warrants on her at all for anything. So I have one warrant in hand and signed by a judge and the court has records of another completely separate warrant and the local law enforcement has none. What a situation. It’s good for her because it means she can now go get work and marry her man along with starting to pay the child support I could really use right about now.
So when do I become a sucker? I let her see the kids on her weekends without fail. I let her take them the day before the weekend starts because logistically it isn’t possible for her to get them on Wednesday evenings like she is supposed to be able to do. I work out special occasions like birthdays and holidays without any argument. The only hiccup is her man gets annoyed when plans aren’t communicated to him which is not unreasonable in the least and not my fault. At what do I stop being a nice guy and start being a sucker? I have never pursued the child support I am owed. The warrant was from when we were going through the divorce and she wasn’t paying and I didn’t even ask for it to be issued and it doesn’t matter because no-one even knows it exists. The only way to make sure I get paid is to go to the Texas Attorney General and file with them for assistance collecting. Once I do that she won’t be able to not pay because they will issue warrants that don’t get lost in the system and they will take her jail for non-payment. They’ll garnish her wages and take her income tax returns and generally hammer her until she pays me what I am owed. It won’t be fun or easy for her. My dilemma is that I don’t want my Anna and Aoghdan to think I am some sort of asshole for going after her. Aoghdan has finally started opening up about his feelings and it’s only been since he’s been able to start forming a relationship with her. Will my going after her for what is her responsibility affect him in a negative way? Will the kids hate me for getting their mom “in trouble”? Will she start talking shit about me to the kids? Will all of this lead to a much worse situation than letting sleeping dogs lie? In other words when do I stop being someone who is reasonable and understand and turn in to a doormat? I really want opinions on this one…
