Watch, at least, Tim’s intro in the video above before reading further…
So I have been an observer to some drama as of late. Yes it is drama on FB but it is people going off about things that happened in real life that had real consequences and not petty crap. I have known the people involved, and I won’t be mentioning any names here, for better than two decades. In this incident I didn’t take sides. Hell I didn’t even comment until it was all over. In the end I unfriended one of the people involved for reasons totally unrelated to the drama. In fact the drama isn’t even related to this post other than to suggest that some of the people involved examine their relationships through the lens of how complicated other people make their lives. Let me expound.
The person I unfriended hadn’t made a positive or even neutral comment on FB in over a year. Every single thing they said was complaining about how their life sucked and then explaining how it was someone else’s fault. I didn’t bother commenting on the posts or trying to point out how things like being behind on your electric bill and getting your lights shut off was not likely the fault of the company providing you electricity. I have known them for years after all and wanted, at the very least, not to be mean. Even without responding to the drama this person created for themselves their posts still showed up in my stream and no matter what when someone is negative all the time it brings down those around them. I thought about it long and hard and while I don’t hate this person, as Tim suggests in the video above, they did add complexity to my life. They added drama even if it was through observation only. You can’t know someone that long and not react in some manner to their words and suffering even if it is self-inflicted. Further thought on the matter makes me think this person has issues that I cannot ever help them with. The need to always be a victim is one that is draining for everyone around the person with that need. I won’t speculate as to the cause of the problems but I know that I have my own issues to work on and I can’t help this person with theirs. In further thinking on it I realized this person has been like this for most of the time I have known them and when we were hanging out in real life it was very draining.
If we were hanging out in real life today I would have to cut off those ties but since it was FB I could just unfriend them. I know that may sound harsh but I am a grown-ass-man and don’t need the teenage drama this person exudes. I do honestly hope they get the help they need and come out the other side a better person but when a person won’t take responsibility for their own failings and the situations they cause then I can’t have them around me. I spent enough of my life doing exactly that and I have no time for someone so self-centered that they can’t admit their own mistakes. Sure I still complain from time to time and even do a little of that over on FB but the difference is I know that 99% of the time the reason something in my life is fucked up is because I fucked it up or allowed it to get fucked up.
Once someone begins to take responsibility for their own life then they are usually worth helping. I will no longer bother trying to help anyone whose first reaction to any problem is to figure out how it’s not their fault. In fact those people who would rather cry about their problems than actually work on fixing them will get told, just like the video above: “Speed on before you get peed on!”
I don’t feel that this little piece is technically “mean” but some will likely deride it as such. This is about self-preservation and making sure that I have enough emotional stamina to help people who want help and deal with my own shit. If I am forced to constantly deal with other people’s shit and they ain’t working on it then I don’t have the energy left to deal with fixing my own shit. It’s really that simple.
31
Oct
So my writer’s block has faded just a little bit and I managed to knock out a post for Comical Musings and am working on one for 9b today (don’t tell my boss). I didn’t really have any time last week to write anything up ’round these parts. But to make it up I think I will drop a comp tape today.
As far as simplifying life: the process is slower than I would like it to be but it is moving along. I have a couple of boxes in the back of my truck to drop off at the donation bin on the way home from work (my old lady was supposed to do it yesterday while she was out but apparently forgot.) I know two boxes isn’t that much but there has been cleaning and the throwing away of crap to go along with that. I think tonight I shall attack the two crates of miscellaneous computer drek.
Anyway that’s it for now…
Today was a good day. I slept in a little bit and the kids didn’t burn the house down. Got up and spent some time with the heathens. Had the sone and heir make chili dogs to eat while we watched the Texans give the Titans a well needed beat down. The rest of the day was all relaxing and screwing around on the computer until dinner. I cooked lentils with ham for me and Michelle and the kids had sandwiches. Then I got to spend some time with the son and heir and the second in line to the throne watching Alphas. I made lunch to take to work for the next three days and now it’s just me and SAMCRO before bed.
I know this isn’t the in depth introspection I have been posting but some days you just don’t want to get inside your own head. Instead you just sit back and watch the laughing children, pull them apart when the try kill each other and otherwise just enjoy the simple fact that you are breathing. Some days simplicity finds you. You just have to know when to get out of its way. Today was one of those days and I did.
