30
Jan
So the last couple of weeks have been less than stellar. As you know by my last post I was let go from my job. Dealing with that and all it brings has been quite an ordeal. The emotions are nothing new but dealing with them is always a draining task. From feeling worthless to fear I won’t be able to put food on the table they have run the gambit.
Now dropped in to the middle of this is a realization that I had given up on a lot. A slow rotting surrender. I had become complacent and everyone around me has suffered for it. This realization is not a bad thing. I was able to root out the rot and over the course of a few days regain some of my passion. While this is a good thing it also means that I have to deal with the reasons I let the rot take over.
When you add both, or rather all, of that together life gets kind of strange. So I have been on a roller coaster of emotion and trying to slow it all down. I think I have a handle on things now. I have done all the stuff I dreaded doing: filed for unemployment, applied for food stamps, updated LinkedIn, sent out some resumes, and so on.
I also decided to use the Oxford comma when I make lists. In the grand scheme of things that’s not that big of a deal but I wanted to mention it.
And though all of this my wonderful wife has been my anchor, my shelter. I couldn’t have made it through any of this without her. Thanks baby. I love you.
15
Jan
If you are my friend on FB you know I got fired on Wednesday. This is a situation that sucks. What I have noticed, tonight, is that everything that seemed important and/or fun is sort of just grey. I don’t like this. The last thing I need is for this to last. To put it in perspective: I am at a bar celebrating a friend’s birthday and posting this from my phone. But don’t cry for me Argentina, I shall be fine. I just need to get over the hump.
I have a phobia. Not one that is normal. You see I have a fear of medical personnel. I have panic attacks even visiting people in the hospital. You can’t imagine what it is like to go see a doctor when it is something wrong with me. The problem is that over the last couple of years I have been getting sick a lot. Not deathly ill but lots minor illnesses that come complete with fever and all the rest of the nastiness. These things range from colds to flu-like symptoms. They put me down for a day or two and then are gone. But it is not normal as they crop up once or twice a month. So long story short I have to go see a doctor. I have to bite the bullet and go. I have to know if something is wrong other than just me getting every virus that waltzes in the door.
For most people this wouldn’t even be a question but for me it feels like a life or death decision. If I were to be perfectly honest I wouldn’t even be thinking about going if it weren’t for my family. I mean missing a day or work here and there wouldn’t bother me but it affects our financial situation. My boss isn’t bothered by it. So on that front there aren’t any issues. In the past I would just carry on with the status quo but these days it seems to be complicated. I don’t need this complication.
In my search to simplify my life these things seem to keep popping up. Things that used to seem normal jump up and demand to be corrected. This is one of them. My health is important in ways I never realized and now I am thinking about them.
So now I have to figure out how exactly I am going to make myself go to the doctor. Wish me luck…
One place in my life that seems complex but isn’t is work. My system may seem complicated but it makes my life so very easy. I keep track of things using the GTD system coupled with a notebook. I spend time in the morning making sure my projects are broken down in to manageable steps and updating a website that syncs with both my phone and tablet and I keep track of the high level overview and time in my notebook. The notebook is an easy space to jot things down during the day and the website keeps track of the actual steps.
As for keeping the rest of the team updated I have implemented a wiki. I cut and paste from the GTD website and the team can see where I am anything at any given time. This also serves as a place to keep tips and tricks that the whole team can use. We aren’t allowed to use it for official documentation and instead are required to use Sharepoint. This has led, unfortunately, to a lack of official documentation. You see we are a Linux department in a Windows company and corporate policy ignores the fact that we have to run a VM just to check our e-mail. This does complicate my work life but it beyond my control. Which brings me to the point I actually want to make. Things beyond our control are just that and nothing more. As I try to make my life more simple I have to realize that these things exist and not allow them to derail my progress.
One of these things came up today. You see I suck at money but I am learning. (Feels weird to admit that) So we have developed a system to help me learn. This system involves two accounts and moving money around. We had two checks out and they cleared on Monday but didn’t post until today. We had the money to cover them but were waiting until they showed as pending in order to make sure they were covered. Well they cleared alright along with two overdraft fees. Long story short: the bank admitted they should have shown as pending, acknowledged that the account history shows we handle all of our checks this way (we write very few) and yet wouldn’t remove the overdraft fees. I have to admit that I might not have kept my cool but couple that with the history we have with the bank, Bank of America by the way, a solution is necessary. You see this is a stumbling block to my simplification for reasons I won’t go in to right now. My choices right now are to get stressed and likely cause more problems, ignore it and continue down the same path or switch banks. Since it takes time to get the direct deposit changed we are getting all the paperwork ready and will be switching to a local credit union next payday. This time I had choices and took the one that is more complex today but will simplify life long term.
I don’t have a wrap up paragraph or anything special to close with. So you will just have to settle for this: Thanks for reading. Maybe the next post will be more interesting.
31
Oct
So my writer’s block has faded just a little bit and I managed to knock out a post for Comical Musings and am working on one for 9b today (don’t tell my boss). I didn’t really have any time last week to write anything up ’round these parts. But to make it up I think I will drop a comp tape today.
As far as simplifying life: the process is slower than I would like it to be but it is moving along. I have a couple of boxes in the back of my truck to drop off at the donation bin on the way home from work (my old lady was supposed to do it yesterday while she was out but apparently forgot.) I know two boxes isn’t that much but there has been cleaning and the throwing away of crap to go along with that. I think tonight I shall attack the two crates of miscellaneous computer drek.
Anyway that’s it for now…
