I feel an apology is in order. For the first time since I started the three posts a week schedule I have completely blown it. But I have done so for good reasons. Monday was spent finishing the MixWidget Back End, Wednesday’s politics was pre-empted by actual interesting work and today’s life management post has been set aside due to managing some family medical needs. Well that last bit really isn’t accurate. This is the Friday life management post but it won’t be the in-depth analysis I usually try to produce. You see I am sitting in Doctor Edmunson’s office watching Seamus try his very best to sit still for an EEG. Which brings me to my life management advice for today.
Don’t sweat the medium stuff! What I mean by that is don’t let things like I did this week make you feel like your life is out of control. I made a commitment to myself to post three times a week and on specific topics. This week that didn’t happen and while I wish that it had I am alright with prevented it from happening. Sometimes life happens and you will just have to roll with it. I rolled with it this week and will when it happens again. I don’t say “if” because I have met me and I know it will. Make sure to acknowledge that life will throw you curve balls and don’t allow you happiness to rely on perfection because you ain’t perfect and don’t know anyone who is.
Since I am writing this on my cell phone I am going to end this missive here so I don’t get thumb cramps. I’ll toss up some pics of Seamus hooked into the EEG later on. Have a great weekend y’all.
Departing, utterly and completely, from my being overwhelmed by the hideous weight of the holidays and having done so before Christmas eve was over I have been reading a bit. I have been reading one of my favorite modern commentators on Christianity. He’s not well known even in Christian circles but he should be. Nevertheless Tony Woodlied published two articles recently that covered subjects on which I have been known to have an opinion. (And if you know me you know what that means!). One I will write another post about because it deserves treatment of it’s own and the other is the reason I am posting here.
First: some history on how we have always treated Christmas in the Potter household. I have never told my children there was a Santa Claus. We play the myth and even give gifts from Santa but we always stressed that it is just fantasy. The older children have even been known to correct adults on the subject. (I have no idea where they got the idea that they should correct people!) We do read Santa stories and enjoy the game but it has always been known to be fantasy. The oldest three are certain there is no Santa, the middle child is pretty sure there is despite what we have said, the three year old is unsure of may things including the reality of Santa and the youngest two are not of age to really believe in anything much.
Today I have decided to change how we deal with Santa. I did so after reading this article by Tony. Here’s a brief snippet:
I know Caleb and his brothers will figure out the Santa secret eventually, but I’m with Chesterton in resisting the elevation of science and reason to the exclusion of magic, of mystery, of faith. That’s why I’m not giving up on Santa without a fight. Not everything we believe, I explain to Caleb, can be proved (or disproved) by science. We believe in impossible things, and in unseen things, beginning with our own souls and working outward. It’s a delicate thing, preparing him to let go of Santa without simultaneously embracing the notion that only what can be detected by the five senses is real.
Tony hits me twice in this article with men I respect and turn to when the mysteries inherent in Christianty have my spinning: GK Chesterton and CS Lewis so he gets points on that alone. His reasoning behind not killing the myth for your children hit me like a brick. I had never thought about Santa from angle in which he is presented by Tony and I found myself in agreement. My lovely wife pointed out that we don’t tell the children that their imaginary friends (or in Sinead’s case “madge friends”) aren’t real. While Michelle doesn’t necessarily agree with me on the Santa decision she is willing to walk down this road with me (that alone is worth mentioning because she is always willing to go down whatever road I choose) (Or maybe she is just willing to give me enough rope to hang myself).
I have called the oldest three over and let them know we won’t be correcting the youngest four on the subject anymore and used the beautiful example of imaginary friends with them. They all agreed and next year there will be much Santa myth in the Potter household.
I told Michelle that if they asked that we wouldn’t lie. That we would answer completely honestly: Santa Claus is the anthropomorphization of the Christmas Spirit. Her only caveat was that if one of our children and pronounce “anthropomophization” that we would just go ahead and tell them the truth. Otherwise the simple explanation is that “Santa is the Spirit of Christmas” when they can’t grasp the whole concept of anthropomorphization. I think it’s a good caveat if only because I will get to hear at least four of my beautiful children pronounce anthropomorphization. 
As an aside and only related tangentially: Ever since I learned about the real Saint Nicholas – Bishop of Myra the scene Tony Mentions: Father Christmas appears in Narnia as the White Witch’s spell is breaking: “‘I’ve come at last,’” says Santa. “‘She has kept me out for a long time, but I have got in at last.’” I don’t see a jolly fellow dressed in red with a belly full of jelly. I see the same grim determination that must have been on his face as he crossed a room in 325 to slap the heretic Arius across the face. I see that scene as a triumph and the man making that statement as a man who had never given up trying to get into Narnia after the White Witch cast he awful spell. I don’t know, it just seems right to me.
And the last aside is thus: Many of my friends either commented on my note publicly, sent me private messages, or called me. Normally this has little effect on the Mark-Potter-Patented-Christmas-Funk-That-May-Be-Worse-Than-Tom’s but this year some of your words actually made a difference. This year I was pulled back from the brink. Not soon enough to kill some of my wife’s joy (and for that I am sorry) during our attendance of her family’s Christmas Eve event but enough to bring me back from the brink prior to Christmas Eve being over. You may never all know who you are but I am grateful. I have wonderful friends and a wonderful family. Thank you all and I hope that you all had an amazing Christmas I know I did.
26
Dec
As any of you who have known me for any length of time can attest: the holidays are not a great time for me. I have, in the past been petty about the whole affair. From the commercialization to the attitudes on shoppers the season had lost its luster for me.
Then there came the bad blood between my youngest sister and me. I will not go into that or anywhere else but suffice to say it exists. So it has been years since I was able to see my family on Christmas day or eve for that matter. Michelle’s family stresses me out even though it seems that after eight years they might have finally accepted my oldest children and me. For instance: one year her grandmother was giving people hugs before she left. She hugged on of Michelle’s brothers, looked at me, and hugeed the next person on her way out of the house. I don’t care how much they like or respect me now that behavior still hurt and not once did anyone apologize nor will they. Don’t get me wrong her brothers and Granny are great.
So why did I finally succumb to the old feelings I have fought so hard against? One may wonder…
Well in the midst of all this was always the Christmas party at Lee and Sarah’s house on Christmas eve. I have been doing that since before my oldest child was born. This year Michelle’s mom is having the family gathering on Christmas eve in the evening, I have to work, and Granny won’t even be there. So I have to work Christmas eve, not even at the office, drive 60+ miles to her mom’s house (where I won’t get to see the person I look forward to the most), and if I get there on time have Christmasb dinner, open gifts, then drive 30 miles to a party that’s halfway (if not more) over.
Christmas day we have awesome plans. (Thanks Chris!) But we are also broke so the presents the kids get to open were a shock even to me as two co-workers bought all the kids gifts. I am looking forward to Christmas dinner but after that it’s back home and a doc appointment the next day.
So it boils down to this: I have to skip most of my tradition to hang out with people who may or may not like me after working all day and I don’t get to see my family at all. The only bright spot is Christmas dinner with the Stelhorn clan.
I managed to not dread Christmas pretty much since Thanksgiving. I held it in check. That all fell apart when they told I had to work at the datacenter tomorrow. I hadn’t even been upset about missing most of the party or not seeing my family. Straw that broke the camel’s back and all that…
And baby you know I love you with everything I am but given a choice I would go to the party.
26
Oct
Even with all of the chaos and confusion that is a given in a house with seven children, any of those families who get profiled on TV shows who say it’s not chaotic are liars, every day has its bright moments. Not all are easy to see with everything else going on around us but if you stop and look you can find the most beautiful moments hidden under the surface of all the chaos.
Son the third just wandered up to me while I was sitting here tapping out some notes for my training materials. I was getting ready to tell him to go on and play because I am busy when he smiled and said “I love you daddy”, reached up his arms and gave me a hug and kiss. What you have to understand about son the third is that he doesn’t just give a little peck. He places his kisses very carefully and if you are, for instance, walking out the door to go to work and lean over and give him a quick peck he doesn’t have time to get his placement. You have to let him pick where on your cheek he’s going to kiss and then wait for the kiss. Sometimes all it takes is a hug and kiss to make all the stress melt away. That and his constant smiles make going out of town a real bitter experience.
I am starting to not like the out of town stuff at all as I miss my family too much. But that’s another discussion.
I also need to mention “Daddy whatever you cook is my favorite food ever” courtesy of son the third as well.
I buy the kids little things that they collect when I go to a new city or state. Snowglobes, keychains, stuffed animals and other crap. As you all know I went to Pricenton, NJ earlier this week. I usually buy this stuff at the airport because it’s easy to find. However all the stuff in the Newark, NJ airport was I <heart> NY crap. So the kids don’t have any Princeton or New Jersey stuff. I had to buy NY gear. It must suck to live in a state that doesn’t have enough of an identity to have its own tourist gear. When I see things like this I can only think “God bless Texas!”
I started cleaning the yard up today only to realize I need a chainsaw. I am going to find some braces and try to get up the whole piece of fence that came down but there is nothing I can do for the front corner at this point. The landlord informed me that his deductible for wind and storm damage is 4k so he won’t get any help with any of the clean up of rebuilding the fence. He has been amazing to us so I am handling the cleanup and most likely rebuilding the fence. Even with only about an eighth of the front fence down the whole thing will need to be replaced since the 4×4s are rotted at the ground. It will be a fun project to rebuild the fence I think. I need the physical activity anyway.
I am off to replace the deader than dead iPod because I honestly cannot be without music while I travel and I am doing a lot of it right now. Then Home Depot for some sort of braces to hold the fence up while I get time to deal with replacing it.
